Lhazom, Chapter 3

As the year 2016 started, gearing up all my confidence, I told her, “I love you.”

She said, “I need time.”

I was surprised by her reply though she said that she had a break up with her boyfriend. But I didn’t ask the reason for the break up.

I said, “I love you very much.”

She replied, “HAHAHAHAHA.”

I made a Facebook account in class 10 and added her. My wechat name was Karma 4- deki chophel and Facebook name, karma 46 chophel. We chatted online every day but whenever I said, “I LOVE YOU.”

She just replied, “Thank You.”

After 6 months, having done my midterm, I headed back to my hometown, Lhuentse. That time, I asked her to meet me. As requested, she came and standing in front of her, I didn’t know what to say. Her sister become my friend. After 10 minutes, she went back to house saying, “Mom is calling.”

She sent me a sms, “BYE.”

I didn’t know why she sent me that, maybe she was bored after meeting me as I was not able to talk with her confidently.

Next day, I messaged her, “BYE.”

There was no reply from her.

After my midterm break, I got back to Punakha. We didn't chat for 3 weeks. And after that we chatted again. I told her, “I love you very much.”

Then she replied, “There are many beautiful girls in Ugyen Academy. Why don’t you get a girl from there?”

Confused by her words, I didn’t say no more words and our conversation ended. From that day, I blocked her on Wechat and Facebook and deleted her number from the phone but was not able to remove from my brain, as it remained there like a sculpture sculpted with gold on a stone. I shared my love for her to friends and her rejection. Though, madly in love, I was thinking of giving up at that time.

On November 6, I received a SMS from her, “Do you still love me?”

Shocked by this message from her number, I replied, “I still do and will love you forever.”

Then she texted, “Then, my answer is ‘Yes.’”

 This message took my breath for a while but not believing the words, I asked her, “What do you mean?”

A new message beeped immediately.

“I accept your love. Love you, too.”

Did she mean that? It took almost 3 years to accept my love. I was not able to trust her but she said, “I really mean it.” That time, she was busy preparing for her friend’s birthday.

I recharged voucher every time, thinking that she might chat with me, but on December 14, we had some misunderstanding. She said, “I am giving up on you.”

That time, I was in Thimphu taking tuition. I thought she was joking but she really did. I didn’t know the reason. Maybe, she didn't love me truly, like I did. My Facebook page was full of her photos but hers was flooded with friends, not a single photo of mine.

It broke my heart and everything was cold and dark around me. Eyes brimming with tears, I went to my room, closing the door and covering my head under the blanket, I started crying like a baby. Then I cut my hand. Not knowing how to cope up with the pain, I begged her on Facebook every day by tagging her but got no response from her. I cried. Every time. Every night. But no one noticed. From the next day, I started to drink, smoke and chew baba.

I bunked from the tuition classes, stayed drinking and smoking all the time. I became like a dog and tiger who was once a cat. I went out at night, hanging out with my friends: drinking, smoking and abusing drugs, HUKAA. After a month, I headed back to Lhuentse. On reaching Bumthang, I was drunk and fell asleep under the bus. In the morning at 5AM, getting up from the road and I went to collect my stuff from the hotel room, shivering with cold.

Original Story: Karma Chophel

Edited by: Phurpa Dorji (PJIKKS)

Chapter 4 Tomorrow @9PM